Worth Fighting For...

What is worth fighting for? What is worth dying for? What is worth waging war for?

Country. Humanity. Economic stability. Political reign.

It's what we wage over. These things consume us. They torment us. They at times own us. But is any of it worth anything of consequence? Is any of it lasting? Eternal?

All of the things mentioned above speak of power at the root. Power over people, finances, or land. So I ask again... What is worth fighting for?

Life. Faith. Trust. Family. 

Truth. Love. 

That's what I think it all boils down to. When you think if what really matters, and what's worth fighting for. What's worth giving your life for, at the core you end up with truth and love. 

These go hand in hand.

Truth. It's absolute. Never shifting, changing, or wavering. And something solid is worth fighting for. It's worth giving everything for. 

The truest truth I know is that of love. 

I don't mean a devastatingly romantic love like Romeo and Juliet. That's love based in selfishness. I also don't mean a mushy-gushy, ewwey-gooey kind of love. Many times that's rooted in emotions and can be just as fleeting. 

When I say that love is the truest truth I know, I am talking about a love that is patient. Kind. Never self-seeking. Not boastful. It is not jealous or proud. It doesn't demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. It never gives up. Never looses faith. This love is always hopeful. It endures in every circumstance.

(I took this from multiple versions of 1 Cor 13.) 

This is how the bible defines love. 

I strive to love like this... But I so often fall very very short. I get frustrated, flustered, sassy, and at times down right mean. And each time I fall short it kills me. I am commanded to love God first, but then my neighbor as myself. (Mark 12:30-31) Not only do I struggle with loving my neighbor, if I'm really honest I at times struggle with loving God the way I should. 

I want to love. I really do. But so often I find that I'm in my own way. My feelings, opinions, and prejudices get in the way of love. 

So... How do I, We, get past ourselves and learn to love? Really love?  I think that's where it becomes worth fighting for. Love is worth me laying down my pride, and hearing someone else. Love is worth me shutting my mouth for a minute so I can hear Holy Spirit speak to me and I can use it to minister to the heart of another. Love is worth me forgetting about me for a while. 

And forgetting about me... That I am willing to fight for. 

 

Now when I say "worth fighting for" or "worth giving everything for" it sounds pretty extreme, and I recognize that. However, when the absolute truth in your life is founded in love... Extreme works.

The Reality of His Love

Tonight was girls night at my house. My cousin, little sister and I watched "Drive Me Crazy" which is  a 90's chick flick. For those who haven't seen it let me give you a quick summary. 


It's a classic 90's story of two high school teenagers who both get dumped by their boyfriend/girlfriend. In an effort to get their ex's back, the main characters decide to make them jealous by dating one another. In true chick flick style they end up falling in love with one another. During the last 10 minutes of the movie they confess their love in a ridiculously corny, albeit sweet way. 


Of course all of us watching oh and awe at the sweetness of the moment. I walked away in the daze that sets in after  a movie like that, day dreaming about when I'll get  to have corny, sweet things said to me.


A few minutes after the movie ended I struck with an unforeseen conversation with the Lord.  I began to be questioned on why I wanted what was in the movie. What was the motivation behind it? It is loneliness? Or do I desire that because I want the Lord to be glorified thorough it? When I answered more questions came.

Slowly I realized that He was reminding  me that I am currently in the midst of the greatest love story of all time.  I am so easy to forget that being in love with my Jesus is so much better than any thing that Hollywood writers could ever come up with. Who am I kidding? I watch stupid movies that me leave pinning after something so temporary and empty, when I could pick up my bible and be wooed by the King of Kings.  I mean really, who would want to watch a movie when the Lord of creation says this to your heart:


"And now, here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to start all over again. I'm taking her back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I'll court her. I'll give her bouquets of roses. I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. She'll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of Egypt. "At that time"—this is God's Message still— "you'll address me, 'Dear husband!' Never again will you address me, 'My slave-master!'

I'll wash your mouth out with soap, get rid of all the dirty false-god names, not so much as a whisper of those names again. At the same time I'll make a peace treaty between you and wild animals and birds and reptiles, nd get rid of all weapons of war. Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies! And then I'll marry you for good—forever! I'll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness. Yes, I'll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go. You'll know me, God, for who I really am." Hosea 2:14-20

I love that passage of scripture because it always speaks right to my heart no matter where I'm at, or who I've been. I can read this and know that somehow beyond any reason I have, Jesus loves me. It leaves me speechless and in awe. His love is more than I can fathom and far beyond my imagination.

I honestly don't know why He loves me like He does. I surely do not deserve it. In life there is not much I feel I can have full confidence in, but I can trust that His love is true. His love is real. His love is everlasting. I can rest in the peace of His love.

I hope that my journey this evening inspires you to go deeper into your relationship with the Lord.

Lesson in Trust

He's standing before me again asking for more. I don't know of anything I have left that He would want. I've willingly given all of my hurts, my brokenness, and my junk to Him. Yet He stands before me and asks for more. I cant help but wonder what else He thinks I have to give. 

Before I even realize whats happening He reaches into my heart and gently pulls out the deeply rooted, most precious parts of who I am. In His hand lies every hope, every dream, and every promise ever made. I suddenly feel very bare.  a resistance begins to rise within me, why would He take those things? Those are MY hopes, MY dreams! He gave those promises, He's not allowed to take them back. They belong to me, He can't have them. Looking at His hands I realize that I don't know who I am without these things. I find my identity in those dreams. I don't even know who I am without them.

My eyes meet His as I try to remain composed. Compassion, tenderness, and love is all that can been seen in His gaze. Very slowly I hear,

"Do you trust me?"

Instantly a seed of hurt springs up. Of course I trust Him. I've given Him everything else. Why can't I just keep this part of me? I don't want to surrender these things. My spirit begins to remind me of the times where He took my ashes and made something of beauty. What would He make out of something already lovely? Something within me begins to wonder if He wants more for me than I dare imagine. 

Again I hear Him ask ,

"Do you trust me?"

Yes. I do. I trust Him. Completely. I trust Him with the deepest parts of me. 

With a smile He turns to leave. I begin to wonder where He's going, when He turns around and gestures for me to follow. I'm not sure where He's going or what He's up to this time. all that I know for sure is that it's going be quite an adventure. 

A Journey of a Lifetime...

It's August... that means it's time to celebrate. One year ago, God rescued me out of a bad relationship and took me on the most incredible journey. I feel like passing this year mark is going to be one of those "landmark" moments on my life. Last night a dear friend and I began to talk about all that has gone on this past year, so much has happened that I felt the need to commemorate it by sharing my story.

Last August when God told me to walk away from the relationship I was in, I had no idea what things were going to look like. The journey that awaited me was so far away from what I had ever imagined. As I drove away from a boy who I thought I loved I couldn't help but laugh, For the first time in months I knew that I had heard the Lord and I had listened. The simpleness of that act might not seem like a big deal but after ignoring the voice of God for over 7 months finally responding with obedience was the best thing I could of ever done. When I got back to my mom's house and told her what had just happened she couldn't understand why I was so happy. I couldn't explain the reasons why I felt the way I did, all I knew is that I had made the right choice.

Two weeks later, I met with Janelle Coleman. I needed someone who would be accountability for me and someone who would walk with me as I healed. When I walked into the Coleman house that morning I had no idea that a door was about to be opened. Janelle began to tell me that her family was about to move and needed a housemate. Not 12 hours later it was decided, I was moving in. The first morning in my new house I woke up to the sound of 4 year old Josiah laughing, it was in that moment that I knew I had made the right decision.

Once I moved that's really when this big adventure began.

It was November, and for the past few months I had learned to listen to the voice of the Lord again. He began speaking more clearly and much more frequently. I knew that to get healing, my life had to change. My habits had to change, and my lifestyle had to change. I began reading "Set-Apart Femininity" by Leslie Ludy, This book wrecked my world. The way she spoke of her standards and the way she lived her life made me long for more than what I had. I knew the Lord was asking me to live a set-apart life. That meant many changes. I took the TV out of my room, and began to change the types of movies, TV shows, and music that I listened to. I began to seek out the Lord with everything within me. He was doing a change in my heart. He was taking me to a place that required everything of me.

Over the next few months the Lord began bringing people into my life who would pour into me and stretch me in ways that I have never experienced before. God began speaking destiny into my life. He gave me a new identity  He gave me vision. He gave me hope.

The Lord has met me in ways that I can hardly explain. He has transformed me, molded me and shaped me into a new creation. The woman I have become is very different from the girl I was a year ago. This year I have taken my faith and made it my own. My standards have gone from normal standards of someone my age, and become much higher. All this can be summed up by saying I'm thankful. I am so incredibly thankful for the love of the Father. I am so grateful for the grace and mercy that has been bestowed upon me. It is beyond my comprehension that God would choose me. I am blessed.

This year has been the most incredible ride and it's not over yet. It's just getting started. I better buckle up. 

Changing winds.

Change is coming. 
I can feel it in my bones. 
Seasons are shifting. 
I am ready. 

For months now the Lord has been doing a deep inward work in my heart, the 
results of which are starting to be seen. 
Yet I still feel His invitation to come closer. To go deeper. I have no idea 
what this is going to look like, but I must admit that's one of my favorite 
parts. As someone who wants to know all the details, the unknown is always makes 
me a bit apprehensive. The only exception is when He knows all the details, then 
I am free to let go and simply be. 

To rest in His presence. 
To soak in His words. 
To be content in His timing. 
Where He is involved, I can let go and let Him have control. 

I feel as if I've stood in this spot so many times in the past year, and yet 
again I choose to say "Come Lord. I'm ready." Bring on the changing winds!

The Wedding of Lifetime.

This weekend, I was blessed to be a part of the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended. James and Breanne Walter have been two of my best friends for some time. I have watched their relationship grow, blossom, and flourish for the past 5 1/2 years, they have set a standard for all who know them. If you sit with them for 5 minutes you will see a few things, how much they love each other, the honor they have for one another, and the high respect for the other. I am amazed by them and their relationship.

I knew that the ceremony was going to be special, but I also knew that I would cry like a baby. 
As I walked down the isle I looked at James, and the look on his face was that of a little boy on Christmas morning, who knows that he is about to get the best present of all time. He had this giddy smile on his face, and it seemed to me that he could hardly contain his joy. The music changed and we all saw the Breanne appear at the top of the staircase. I turned and looked at James, he was crying and of course, this turned me into a ball of tears. As the father of the bride walked his daughter down the isle she was glowing. She had eyes only for her beloved. He was her focus. In that moment he was the only thing that mattered.
The ceremony was beautiful, and the rest of the day went off without a hitch, and I have never seen the two of them happier or more in love.
This morning during worship at church I got a picture of another wedding, one that has been planned for eternity and is still to come. The bible says that we as Christians are the bride of Christ. Jesus is the groom and we are His bride. His desire is for us, and He has done everything to win our hearts. He pursues us, romances us, and draws us closer to Himself. 
I saw a woman in a wedding dress, and Jesus was at the alter. When she made her entrance, He began to cry out of pure joy, realizing that the reward of the sacrifice He made was finally before Him. Likewise, she was beside herself... she only had eyes for her beloved. He was her safe place, she couldn't wait to be beside Him.

As the groom said His vows, the smile on His face grew. The bride glanced down at her dress and realized that some of it was blood stained, as she saw this they both began to laugh. The beauty of the blood is that it made her dress even more white. 

It made her radiant. 

The blood made her pure.

As she said her vows, the bride couldn't help the tears that began to stream down her face. She knew for the first time that she was free. 

She realized her destiny. 

She saw her beauty. 

She gained a new identity.

This is what happens when we say yes to Jesus. This is what happens when we give our lives completely. We are purified, given unspeakable joy, we realize our identity, and we become free. Jesus is waiting at the alter, the question is will we leave Him waiting, or will we give ourselves over to something so much better than we could imagine? 

Justice vs. Mercy

I have a feeling I may get some not so great feedback for this post, but I feel that this needs to be said.

As we all know Osama Bin Laden was killed this week. I understand how people are happy that this man has been brought to justice, and many of the families are now feeling that their loved ones are finally avenged. I for one am glad that when I listen to talk radio and hear that mans name I will no longer feel a twinge of fear somewhere deep down inside.

Last night as I was listening to President Obama speak about the mission and how our amazing troops executed their assignment with expert precision and tact; I began to feel thankful, happy even that this evil man is dead. I mean why would I not feel this way? This horrible man who is responsible for thousands of deaths has finally got what he had coming to him. As I watched the news this feeling of happiness increased and was solidified. Then, as I was looking at my Facebook friends updates, a heaviness began to come over my heart. The things that many people began to say really troubled me. One post in particular- made by someone the I highly admire, someone I look up to, and someone who's opinion really matters to me- said  something like,"Hell's real and bin laden will burn for eternity."

That stopped me in my tracks. Really? I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Could we as Christians really be so cold about someone, anyone going to hell?  (This unfortunately was not the only post of it's type.) It was about that time that the Lord began to convict my heart about my attitude towards this man being killed. 

While I know God is a God of justice, He is also a God of mercy. In the word it talks of God not wanting anyone to go to hell. I believe that God's heart is burdened over the life and death of Osama Bin Laden. I wonder if more Christians had been praying for Osama Bin Laden if his outcome would of been different. I don't doubt that he would of been killed, but maybe he wouldn't have to suffer eternal damnation. Some would say he got what he deserved, but does God not see all sin the same? Sin is sin, and (from my 

understanding) there is no differentiation in the eyes of God.

Years ago, I heard a sermon from my childhood pastor, Dane Aaker. I don't remember a thing from the sermon except for one phrase, 

"We should never get used to the sound of footsteps on the way to hell." 

 These words have stayed in my heart for many years, but I don't think I fully understood them until last night. How could I of been happy that this man was in hell? I now have a new drive to pray for people that many feel deserve to go to hell for the things they have done.

Jesus came to save the sinners.

Jesus came as a doctor to heal those who needed a touch from God.

Jesus hung out with the sinners. 

I desire to be Christ-like in every area, not just the areas I feel comfortable doing so. I guess that means being counter cultural.

I implore you to look inside your own heart and see what God is saying to you about this topic. I wouldn't be surprised if He's saying the same thing.